Friday, December 10, 2010

The Voices Stopped Talking (or why writers are similar to mental patients)


It's frustrating when I've decide that "Today, I'm going to write!" and the voices never come.

I grab my writing necessities: Laptop? Check. Notebook and colorful pens? Check, check. Candy, soda, water, coffee, tea, gum? All there—and yes, I drink A LOT while I write. It’s a problem.

So I take my bag of writerly goodies, jaunt down to the local cafĂ© (Panera, Seattle’s Best—depending on the day) and settle in for some quality time with my work in progress. I buy myself a coffee. (“Drinks again?” you ask. “I have to buy SOMETHING,” I say.)

I open my document. Sip. Reread the last chapter. Sip. Silence. I stare at the blinking curser with my hands poised over the keys, ready to fly. Sip. Nothing. Okay, time for a break. I check Twitter—Oh, Maureen Johnson, why you so funny? I check Facebook, another friend pregnant—I’m falling WAY behind, annoying, back to Twitter.

Eventually I force myself to turn off the wireless on the laptop.

Back to writing. More staring. More sipping. Chocolate? Why, don’t mind if I do. I type a few sentences. I delete the sentences. How bout some tunes? Music always helps, I say.

Except some days it doesn’t. Some days I sit there drinking my coffee/water/tea/soda and only get out a few measly paragraphs that I KNOW I’ll end up cutting later. There are no voices in my head. Where did all the voices go? I must have left them at home on the couch where I wish I had stayed to watch that Law & Order SVU marathon.

It’s frustrating when this happens. I’ve set this day aside, I’ve made the time, ignored my laundry and the million other errands I need to get done on my day off, just so I can write. But no. The voices in my head refuse to make an appearance.

I can push through it, and force myself to write something (Something is always better than nothing, in my opinion—I can always fix it later, and sometimes it will turn into something I can work with.) or I can pack it up (Literally. I’ve spread my crap on every inch of this table.) and go home.

Either way, it’s a frustrating day.

The fact is, though, that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Some days the voices just won't stop (don't tell any medical professionals, please) and some days they don't show up at all (for most people this is a good day, but no). And all you can really do it keep writing. Even if it's bad. Even if it's a struggle to get through even one sentence. If we only wrote when the voices were loud, then nothing would ever get finished.

2 comments:

  1. It's like spinning straw into gold. Or more accurately, absolutely nothing into straw which can then be turned into gold.

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  2. I love that you have a blog Ash! i can now casually insert into my conversations " one of the bloggers that I follow" and sound so "with it". You're such an inspiration to all of us.....following your dreams. I know you'll be successful and I'll look forward to the DAILY updates! Love, Di

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